so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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