Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
