I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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