so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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