In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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