fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
