Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
