scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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