You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
