are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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