i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It's blow job season.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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