i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
