I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just forgot I was standing up.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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