is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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