he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
