your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
