I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
