Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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