I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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