He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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