just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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