She's JV to your varsity
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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