He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
