once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
This is the high leading the old right now
The air was thick with penises
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
