She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
