you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
