i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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