and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
