on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
