did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He kissed a someone with a penis
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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