I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
