How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
