I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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