from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
