BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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