I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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