I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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