now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We are two peas in an std pod
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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