it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
