He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize