is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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