Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize