i think my mom watched the whole time
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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