hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just found puke in my bra..
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
