I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
