Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she smelled like a LAN party
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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