He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
