It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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