Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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