By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize