Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
