Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
