He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
