I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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