That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
