Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Life is so much better after having sex.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
