I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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