that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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