No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
