HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
