My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
