Taylor Swift is so right about you.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
